30-year-old's boyfriend stays over 5-6 nights/week, 36-year-old roommate wants him to pitch in on utilities: 'Our electric and water bills have gone up'

Negotiating overnight guests is one of the hardest hurdles to clear with your roommate.

Is it right to ask them to pitch in on utilities? The cost of living is ever-rising, and it's tough out there for most of us. And every little cent counts. You don't want to end up with a cost burden just because you were afraid to speak up for yourself. But there is a difference between being frugal and being a pest to your friends. Sometimes you just have to eat a cost because you don't want to be overly stingy with the people you love. But if this keeps happening over time, then you might want to take stock of your relationships. You would hate to become the cash cow of your friend group by accident. 

But roommate relationships are a different rodeo. You have to maintain some level of professionalism, because you're dealing with money. You have to be clear-headed and honest about stuff because you're doing the important task of sharing the cost of living. You can't let emotions get in the way of those conversations. But money is emotional, and our lifestyles are personal, so it's easy to get worked up about it. Nobody wants to be told that the way they're living is wrong, and nobody wants to be put on trial for the choices they make. But when you're living with someone, that stuff is bound to come up. You have to be able to talk about it like adults.