New Yorker claims it's taboo to ask fellow New Yorkers what they do for work: 'It's a sensitive topic for the Brooklyn crowd for sure.'

A recent tweet went viral about variations in small talk across different cities. They claimed that in San Francisco, people ask, "What are you building?" in reference to tech and startups. Apparently, in Austin, everyone is from somewhere else, so people ask, "Where did you move from?" In LA, everyone is so focused on connections that they ask, "Who do you know?" The regional small talk they assigned to New York City, "What do you do [for work]?" came up against some criticism, with some claiming that the actual NYC small talk staple is "What neighborhood do you live in?" Others bristled at the question, saying it's very taboo to ask someone what they did for work in NYC. To that, one snarky commenter replied, "It’s a very sensitive topic for the Brooklyn crowd for sure.'

_{Two New Yorkers looking at the Manhattan skyline from Brooklyn}

Source: Katelyn Perry (Unsplash+)

It's true that asking someone, "What neighborhood do you live in?" is a classic way to get to know someone in NYC. It can tell you a lot about the person if you're willing to make assumptions about them that correspond with their neighborhood. You hypothesize how much money someone makes based on their neighborhood, whether they live with roommates (and, if so, how many), and whether they have a nightlife-centric lifestyle. If someone lives in a one-bedroom in Flatbush, they are probably not as loaded as someone living in a one-bedroom in the West Village. 

_{A woman reading in the windowsill of her West Village apartment}

Source: Clay LeConey

But then again, that's only an assumption! A ton of loaded people value saving their money more than they value living in a trendy neighborhood in the middle of the city. One of the benefits of knowing someone's NYC neighborhood is knowing where and when it's appropriate to ask them to hang out. I wouldn't ask my friend who lives in Gowanus to meet me in Astoria for dinner when we could easily get dinner somewhere more convenient for both of us without compromising quality. 

As a NYC resident of 4 years, I can say I've been asked "What do you do?" frequently by native New Yorkers and transplants alike, and I've never found it particularly controversial. I love the question, because basically everyone smiles and wants to know more when I tell them, "I write for a Meme website." 

One of my best friends told me that instead of asking, "What do you do?" she asks, "What do you do during the day," to make unemployed people feel included. It's not the greatest thing that our jobs are so intrinsically tied to our value as human beings. If you don't have an answer to "What do you do?", you're perceived either as a rich kid who is getting subsidized by your parents, or a lazy loser who can't be bothered to get a job. This extends to the job market, where nearly every hiring manager sees gaps in employment as grounds for rejection. 

Although not every small talker asking about jobs does this, it's all too common for people to ask about your job to see if they think you're worth talking to. It can be a red flag for someone to ask about your job within seconds of meeting you, and quickly dismiss you after finding out that you probably can't help them on their journey to getting rich quickly. 

What do you think about asking people what they do for a living? Is it a banal inquiry? Do you really care about what someone does for work, or do you ask them to keep the conversation going? Do you judge people's jobs without even trying to? Are taboos around asking someone about their work a New York thing?