‘I don’t want Rue or her boyfriend anywhere near my business’: Small self-care business owner, Luna, puts her foot down once she finds out her best friend, Rue, is stealing her handmade “metaphysical” products every time they hang out

4 months ago 36

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  • AITA for setting boundaries with my longtime friend after realizing she’s been stealing from my business?

    Frustrated woman in a yellow shirt giving a dismissive hand gesture while ignoring her upset friend during a tense argument on the couch.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Hi, my name is Luna (30). I own a metaphysical & self-care business where I make everything by hand - spiritual tools, ritual candles, tarot readings, and vegan body care products like whipped soaps, body oils, and washes.

  • People wonder if setting limits with family friends goes too far but every time a product disappears, the answer becomes clear. Letting guilt do the talking is how you end up half empty before the weekend starts. Respect means nothing if a buddy won’t even ask before raiding your shelves.

  • I've been in business for 7 years, and after a long uphill battle, things are finally taking off thanks to the growth of my YouTube channel.

  • Now, onto the problem. I have a best friend, let's call her Rue (also 30). We've been friends for 16 years — she's basically family.

  •  Rue (and possibly her boyfriend) keeps stealing my products.

  • Frustrated woman in a yellow shirt giving a dismissive hand gesture while ignoring her upset friend during a tense argument on the couch.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Back in the summer, I closed my physical shop and moved everything into storage because most of my sales happen online anyway.

  • Rue and her BD helped me move. I'm a solo entrepreneur - I make and track every item myself so I notice when something's missing.

  • After the move, I realized a few candles, soaps, waist beads, and pieces of jewelry were gone.

  • I tried to chalk it up to exhaustion from moving, but a few days later when I visited Rue's house, I saw my products hidden in her bathroom.

  •  Rue is very Christian and doesn't do spiritual work, but her boyfriend claims to practice Ifa - which requires initiation (and I know for a fact he isn't).

  • He's asked me for sage and spiritual items before, and I always told him he still had to pay, even if I gave him a discount.

  • Frustrated woman in a yellow shirt giving a dismissive hand gesture while ignoring her upset friend during a tense argument on the couch.

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • He never did. So seeing my products at their house told me everything I needed to know - he took them, and she knew about it.

  •  I was doing a product photoshoot for my new labels, and Rue came over for coffee and helped me out.

  • Later that day, I noticed more missing items - this time, bracelets. I scrolled through Instagram later that night and saw her wearing one in her story, clearly hiding it from me when she left my house earlier.

  • It honestly crushed me. My business means everything to me. I built it from the ground up with my dad before he passed away.

  • So seeing someone I love - who even viewed my father as a father figure - disrespect my work like this feels personal.

  • I've realized that every time I've invited people over, "hanging out" somehow turns into them wanting free products or slipping something into their bag.

  • It's exactly why I don't have many friends and why I rarely let people come by anymore.

  • At this point, I don't want Rue or her boyfriend anywhere near my business or future storefront.

  • Protecting what matters to you is not harsh, it is common sense. Sometimes the best way to show care is keeping trouble and sticky fingers out of reach. Self-care isn’t just bath oils, it starts with boundaries.

  • I feel like I need to set that boundary, but part of me wonders if I'm being harsh.

  • So Reddit, AITA for wanting to confront her and set boundaries - or should I just let it go because that's what "friends" do when one of them owns a business?

  • ELShaw1112 Why haven't you already confronted them. You should've said something when you saw your stuff at their house! Then you go and invite her to help AGAIN and you're hurt because she did EXACTLY what you knew she would do?! YTA for letting it go as long as you've had. You know good and well NO ONE expects you to let it go. They steal from you not ONCE but TWICE and you're worried you're being HARSH for doing absolutely NOTHING about it?

  • OP MysticMuseRX Wow. so you just wanted to be a keyboard warrior. This responses was TRASH. You're assuming I "let it continue," but I didn't realize it was a pattern until literally yesterday. At first, I genuinely thought I'd misplaced things during a stressful move - not that someone I've been close to for 16 years would steal from me. When I saw the items at her house, I was still trying to process whether it was her or her boyfriend, and how to even bring that up without blowing up the frie

  • crystallz2000 As another person said, I'd go back to their house with a big bag and smuggle everything back out. Then, I'd leave and block your friend on everything, including all of your business social media. You don't need to have a big talk or confrontation, you can just cut her out of your life. Also, I own my own business and have had several people use me for what I could do for them and throw me away. Now, I'm very careful what information I share with other people. I'm more general abou

  • OP MysticMuseRX Thank you this really hit home. It's such a weird and painful feeling when people you've known forever start seeing your work as free inventory instead of something you've built with your own hands. To make matters worse, - Rue knows I don't like her BD. The day I was moving my inventory to storage, he wasn't even supposed to be there. She mentioned at the last minute that she was coming to help, and he just ditched class to tag along. As if stealing my spell candles which are la

  • mcmurrml You are going to learn a hard lesson. You were second guessing yourself and blaming it on being tired because you didn't want to face what was going on. I don't know how long you had this woman around your business but she didn't just wake up doing this. I bet she has been stealing from you for quite awhile you trusted her so much you didn't see it. I bet when you have some time and look back on things times will come to you that something wasn't right. It's a tough thing but unfortunat

  • OP MysticMuseRX Again, this is something I'm just now starting to see as a pattern - it's not like I've been letting this go on for years. I've known her for 16 years, but she hasn't been stealing from me that whole time. The commenter made it sound like I've been ignoring this forever, when in reality this is only the second time I've caught something missing, spread over a few months. I wasn't "blaming exhaustion" - I truly thought I was just tired from moving and misplaced a few things. I'm h

  • Itscatpicstime Forgot you logged into your alt, op?

  • OP MysticMuseRX yeah, my bad. I didn't realize I was under a different email address when I responded to a few comment, Google makes it to easy to just make accounts...

  • NotSoSureBigWaves So you're the OP? Posted with a different account.

  • OP MysticMuseRX by accident

  • shahleshuh Twice that you're aware of.... once you noticed tho it needed to be dealt with immediately

  • OP MysticMuseRX again, that would be today, and she has already left.

  • mcmurrml Why in hell would you think you are being harsh!! I was surprised you had her over to help after you knew she was stealing from you!! Please tell me you took that stuff right back. These other things you take back because they are yours. You cannot have them over again period. You don't need her help. There is nothing she can offer you because they will rob you blind. If she has keys or passwords change them. She is not your friend and she doesn't love you to allow her boyfriend to stea

  • OP MysticMuseRX Because of how angry I am, I've had to stop myself from going off on her and her BD. I was really heated. She knows the only person who truly supported me my dad has transitioned, and for her to be someone I've been closest to for years, yet treat my business like it's a free self-care catalog, is beyond infuriating. - Part of me feels like I deserve to just fully go off and let all that anger out, but another part of me doesn't even want to give her that much of my energy. She's

  • Competitive-Care8789 Theft. So very enlightened and spiritual.

  • OP MysticMuseRX What?

  • SnooStrawberries2955 This exact same thing happened to me. Metaphysical apothecary owner, here. Hired a friend and found out she wasn't only stealing product, but was stealing cash regularly. I fired her immediately and haven't spoken to her since. When we closed our physical space in Denver about a year later, I found I was missing soooo much product and she was the only person with access. Some of the items were quite rare and irreplaceable. These aren't friends.

  • OP MysticMuseRX Damn that makes me to made for you! People who aren't in our field. don't get the literal time and energy that goes into! Things like that is why I always told myself would never hire family or friend to work in my shop. It's bad enough I'd be paying you but got you to steal from me too, and I hadn't done anything to you?! Hell no!

  •  Rue is very Christian" \---I despise these pontificating hypocrites. This calls for police involvement.

  • OP MysticMuseRX I didn't mean to paint Christianity itself as the problem - I was pointing out that Rue loudly identifies as Christian while her boyfriend is the one doing the spiritual shopping, which felt hypocritical given the items I found. That's why I mentioned it. But since you brought it up, I'll - admit it does get under my skin that, in my line of work, it's so often the "Christians" who show up with the most wicked intentions and greedy hearts. Always quick to throw stones, then hide

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